Clearly, the physical and emotional changes associated with menopause suck. So does aging, it sucks. You can approach these changes with a positive attitude and a “grateful to be alive” approach which might be appropriate on a grand scale but doesn't change the day-to-day feelings and frustrations.
My kids are getting older, in many ways they don't need me as much anymore. Only 1 is playing a high level, time consuming sport, ¾ drive so I am no longer a full time chauffeur, all my boys cook chef quality meals and while the daily dinners and meal preps are my responsibility, it definitely does help. What hasn't gotten easier and in fact become all consuming is the constant worry. When my kids were little I essentially had full control of where they went, what they wore, what they ate etc. Now all I can do is sit back and hope I have raised smart, responsible young men who will make good choices and be successful, and so far they have. Logically knowing this however, has absolutely nothing to do with my worry and anxiety about car crashes, bad grades, aging parents, the economy, house prices, bad girlfriends, no girlfriends, and the list goes on and on. I have never ever been an anxious person until this phase in my life, but the combo of menopause plus change is the perfect storm.
I am learning to step back, watch my kids succeed and fail, understand that I can't control my surroundings and focus on the things that bring me joy, peace or even a temporary distraction from my always busy, sometimes irrational brain. It's a journey without a road map and all I can do is enjoy the highs and know the lows are temporary. My husband is extremely helpful with this. He's not a coddler, sees things in black and white, can be insensitive at times but what he brings is a no nonsense perspective that is sometimes different from my own. He snaps me out of it and brings me back to what truly matters which is my family, friends and the amazing life we have. Change is neither good nor bad, it’s inevitable and we have to embrace it, our perspective is the only thing we can control.
